Thursday, April 03, 2003
What up what up??
Just got off the phone having talked to my lovely Rita. She sounded stuffed up, but ok. Things aren’t going as easily as I had hoped they would for her in Syracuse, but we are planning a visit soon and I know that that will lift her sprits! As the conversation came to a close, I got the impression that she felt a bit better. It’s hard on both of us, not having each other to sit and discuss every little detail of our lives with. We went from being Siamese twin babies to being separated so brutally by way of rusty knives. And I don’t remember the Dr. using any sort of antiseptic.
This shit still hurts!
Paul and I did NOT hook up last night. At one point, we were both lying next to each other on his bed watching TV. When the commercial came, I looked over at him and noticed that he had pulled his pants down and was staring at me with greedy eyes and a boner in his hand. I stifled a laugh and asked: “Oh, are you finally ready to be physical with me again?” The look in his eyes didn’t go away and he replied “Put your mouth on my dick.”
Um, excuse me. I don’t fucking think so.
I have been begging and pleading with this kid for weeks to take off his clothes and touch me, and he always says “No, I feel weird. I don’t want to. I’m LAME!” So last night when he told me to “Put (my) mouth on his dick” I decided that there was no harm in putting off “hooking up” till another day. I leaned over him and let him think that I was going to give him a blowjob and as I got close to it, I took one hand and slapped his dick in its face and took my other hand and poked him inside his belly button. He screamed and then burst out laughing and said “WHAT? NO BLOW?”
Who is he kidding?
No blow.
We did kiss a bit during the rest of the night, but the mood was lost. We bitched and bitched at each other about where to go to dinner. I wanted sushi cuz it was cheap and close to the apartment. He wanted to go to a GAY restaurant and snores. So we went to this place called “Stingy LuLu’s”, where the waitstaff is all drag queens. Kind of like “Lucky Chengs”, but not nearly as cool. The menu was lame shit and our drag queen waitress was nothing more than a bearded man in a wig. It was so faux drag queen that I told Paul we should leave. He had no problem doing that, so we drank our waters, left two dollars on the table and took off.
We ended up at one of my favorite little restaurants in the city, “Yaffa”. Kelly and her ex-girlfriend Randy introduced me to this place when we first moved to the city and I have been back numerous times since. They have the BEST chicken sandwiches and their carrot dressing is slammin. Paul and I had a very nice dinner and as usual ended up with 3 courses. We are turning into gigantic monsters. Someone take the food out of my mouth and give it to an Ethiopian baby. We talk, ere’ day, how we are going to be the two biggest porkers in the Bahamas.
Eh…pth.
We discussed what to do over the next couple of days, since he has time off from work. Tonight we are going to an IMAX movie and tomorrow I think we may go see House of 1000 Corpses. Rob Zombie directed that sick shit and I think it looks SPOOOOOOOOKY. And also disgusting. I can’t wait. I am so happy that things between he and I are going so well. He is being extra cute these days and it’s making me love him deeper and deeper.
My parents are coming to NYC this weekend to see Beauty and the Beast, on Broadway, with some friends of theirs. The show is beautiful and I know they will love it. Before that, I am going to meet them for lunch at The Playwright Tavern. It’s like my new favorite place. The burgers are big and the dumps I take after are noteworthy. I wish I could see my parents for lunch every weekend. Life would be much more relaxing. Cept last weekend, I left wanting to kill myself………
Embarrassingly enough, I am walking around with Michelle Branch playing in my Discman. I stumbled across the CD last week and I decided to listen to it all the way through today. To be honest, I love it. I mean, I’m not obsessed with it and have no need to memorize all of the words to all of the songs, but….
But there is this one song (track 2) that is the theme song for MTV’S Sorority Life and I just love it. I love it so much that I clipped my dick off and turned my genitals into a vagina. Next year I am pledging DZO. You know how it goes. Wanting a vagina so you can be in a sorority. It’s natural.
Here’s some things I bet you didn’t know about me:
My granny does indeed have a third nipple. Just like Marky Mark! But I have never seen it up close. My dad has and he advises me against it.
I didn’t come out of the closet until I was 21.
The first person I jerked off to and had an actual orgasm over was Gilad from “Bodies in Motion”.
My favorite food when I was a child was french fries and it still is.
I have only been on a horse once. But it didn’t walk anywhere. It stood there like a dumb ass.
My nickname during my Freshman year of highschool was “Fairy Fruit Fag.” I liked that a lot.
My nickname during my Sophomore year of highschool was “Pat” - As in androgynous “Pat” from SNL.
That felt gooood.
My nickname during my Junior year of highschool was “Joe”. Seems fair.
My nickname during my Senior year of highschool was “Jim Carrey”. Who the fuck knows. But at least the name was male oriented.
I have been known to take pisses in cups rather than walk ALL the way to the bathroom. Cuz I am used to living in mansions, obviously.
The sports I played growing up: Flag Football, baseball, volleyball, softball, basketball, and wrestling.
The sports I was good at: Choir.
I never get sick, but weird things happen to my body ALL the time. My most recent list of maladies include: a pinched nerve, weird rash on my face and elbows, bleeding gums, a baby tooth (still in my mouth), “scars” on my dick which then became a mound of flaking-off dead skin due to my overuse of steroid cream, enough crusty boogers to kill a man, and most importantly, gayness.
That should be enough for now.
Time to go get lunch. Sometimes I really do wish that I could just turn into “Pizza the Hut” and be done with it. Then I wouldn’t have to spend so much damn money on food, when I could just eat myself! But I would make sure that THIS Pizza the Hut had no olives.
I hate you olives.
Just got off the phone having talked to my lovely Rita. She sounded stuffed up, but ok. Things aren’t going as easily as I had hoped they would for her in Syracuse, but we are planning a visit soon and I know that that will lift her sprits! As the conversation came to a close, I got the impression that she felt a bit better. It’s hard on both of us, not having each other to sit and discuss every little detail of our lives with. We went from being Siamese twin babies to being separated so brutally by way of rusty knives. And I don’t remember the Dr. using any sort of antiseptic.
This shit still hurts!
Paul and I did NOT hook up last night. At one point, we were both lying next to each other on his bed watching TV. When the commercial came, I looked over at him and noticed that he had pulled his pants down and was staring at me with greedy eyes and a boner in his hand. I stifled a laugh and asked: “Oh, are you finally ready to be physical with me again?” The look in his eyes didn’t go away and he replied “Put your mouth on my dick.”
Um, excuse me. I don’t fucking think so.
I have been begging and pleading with this kid for weeks to take off his clothes and touch me, and he always says “No, I feel weird. I don’t want to. I’m LAME!” So last night when he told me to “Put (my) mouth on his dick” I decided that there was no harm in putting off “hooking up” till another day. I leaned over him and let him think that I was going to give him a blowjob and as I got close to it, I took one hand and slapped his dick in its face and took my other hand and poked him inside his belly button. He screamed and then burst out laughing and said “WHAT? NO BLOW?”
Who is he kidding?
No blow.
We did kiss a bit during the rest of the night, but the mood was lost. We bitched and bitched at each other about where to go to dinner. I wanted sushi cuz it was cheap and close to the apartment. He wanted to go to a GAY restaurant and snores. So we went to this place called “Stingy LuLu’s”, where the waitstaff is all drag queens. Kind of like “Lucky Chengs”, but not nearly as cool. The menu was lame shit and our drag queen waitress was nothing more than a bearded man in a wig. It was so faux drag queen that I told Paul we should leave. He had no problem doing that, so we drank our waters, left two dollars on the table and took off.
We ended up at one of my favorite little restaurants in the city, “Yaffa”. Kelly and her ex-girlfriend Randy introduced me to this place when we first moved to the city and I have been back numerous times since. They have the BEST chicken sandwiches and their carrot dressing is slammin. Paul and I had a very nice dinner and as usual ended up with 3 courses. We are turning into gigantic monsters. Someone take the food out of my mouth and give it to an Ethiopian baby. We talk, ere’ day, how we are going to be the two biggest porkers in the Bahamas.
Eh…pth.
We discussed what to do over the next couple of days, since he has time off from work. Tonight we are going to an IMAX movie and tomorrow I think we may go see House of 1000 Corpses. Rob Zombie directed that sick shit and I think it looks SPOOOOOOOOKY. And also disgusting. I can’t wait. I am so happy that things between he and I are going so well. He is being extra cute these days and it’s making me love him deeper and deeper.
My parents are coming to NYC this weekend to see Beauty and the Beast, on Broadway, with some friends of theirs. The show is beautiful and I know they will love it. Before that, I am going to meet them for lunch at The Playwright Tavern. It’s like my new favorite place. The burgers are big and the dumps I take after are noteworthy. I wish I could see my parents for lunch every weekend. Life would be much more relaxing. Cept last weekend, I left wanting to kill myself………
Embarrassingly enough, I am walking around with Michelle Branch playing in my Discman. I stumbled across the CD last week and I decided to listen to it all the way through today. To be honest, I love it. I mean, I’m not obsessed with it and have no need to memorize all of the words to all of the songs, but….
But there is this one song (track 2) that is the theme song for MTV’S Sorority Life and I just love it. I love it so much that I clipped my dick off and turned my genitals into a vagina. Next year I am pledging DZO. You know how it goes. Wanting a vagina so you can be in a sorority. It’s natural.
Here’s some things I bet you didn’t know about me:
My granny does indeed have a third nipple. Just like Marky Mark! But I have never seen it up close. My dad has and he advises me against it.
I didn’t come out of the closet until I was 21.
The first person I jerked off to and had an actual orgasm over was Gilad from “Bodies in Motion”.
My favorite food when I was a child was french fries and it still is.
I have only been on a horse once. But it didn’t walk anywhere. It stood there like a dumb ass.
My nickname during my Freshman year of highschool was “Fairy Fruit Fag.” I liked that a lot.
My nickname during my Sophomore year of highschool was “Pat” - As in androgynous “Pat” from SNL.
That felt gooood.
My nickname during my Junior year of highschool was “Joe”. Seems fair.
My nickname during my Senior year of highschool was “Jim Carrey”. Who the fuck knows. But at least the name was male oriented.
I have been known to take pisses in cups rather than walk ALL the way to the bathroom. Cuz I am used to living in mansions, obviously.
The sports I played growing up: Flag Football, baseball, volleyball, softball, basketball, and wrestling.
The sports I was good at: Choir.
I never get sick, but weird things happen to my body ALL the time. My most recent list of maladies include: a pinched nerve, weird rash on my face and elbows, bleeding gums, a baby tooth (still in my mouth), “scars” on my dick which then became a mound of flaking-off dead skin due to my overuse of steroid cream, enough crusty boogers to kill a man, and most importantly, gayness.
That should be enough for now.
Time to go get lunch. Sometimes I really do wish that I could just turn into “Pizza the Hut” and be done with it. Then I wouldn’t have to spend so much damn money on food, when I could just eat myself! But I would make sure that THIS Pizza the Hut had no olives.
I hate you olives.
